Relationships are complicated. And, while there are no perfect relationships out there, there are definitely healthy ones.

So, how do you know if your relationship would be considered a healthy one? A good place to start is by looking at the following three qualities found in healthy relationships, and asking yourself how these show up in your relationship.

1. Respect

Look, you’re not always going to agree with your partner. That’s actually a good thing, and suggests you both feel comfortable sharing your honest opinions with each other rather than just telling each other what you think the other person wants to hear. The important thing isn’t disagreeing- it’s how you treat each other while expressing your differences in opinion.

In healthy relationships, your partner treats you with respect. That means they don’t ridicule, insult, or otherwise demean you for having a different perspective. This doesn’t mean that people are perfect and never say something in the heat of the moment they regret. But, in a healthy relationship, these moments are an exception, not the norm. And, in healthy relationships, these hurtful exchanges are followed up by your partner holding themselves accountable for saying things that caused you pain.

2. Accountability

We’re all human and mess up. That’s just the reality of life. Being a healthy adult and partner means taking ownership of our mistakes. That looks like acknowledging when we’ve done something wrong or caused our partner pain. Accountability also includes being introspective about how we can make positive changes to prevent the same mistake from happening again moving forward.

Accountability never goes hand in hand with blame. If your partner acknowledges their poor behaviors at times, but immediately follows it up by explaining what you did to cause them to behave in that way, your partner is not taking accountability for their actions. They are blaming you for them.

3. Growth

In healthy relationships, partners encourage and support one another’s personal and professional growth. They make an effort to understand things that their partner values, and take their partner’s goals and concerns seriously.

This doesn’t mean that your partner will always understand your growth. In fact, it can often be confusing and take some time for your partner to understand the changes you make as you’re growing, either personally or professionally. But, in a healthy relationship, you are not discouraged from growing in order to make your partner more comfortable. Instead, in healthy relationships, partners make an effort to understand and participate in each other's growth while processing their own reactions to these changes in a healthy way, like in their own therapy.

While these three qualities of healthy relationships are important, they are definitely not the only qualities of healthy relationships. And, remember that relationships are a two-way street. Both you and your partner deserve to be treated with respect, held accountable for your actions, and encouraged to grow. If you feel like you could benefit from some support with your relationship, think about individual therapy for relationship issues.