I’ve been a therapist for over 11 years now, and most of that time I’ve kept myself and my private life extremely private. If you would have told me even five years ago that I would be frequently discussing aspects of my personal life and mental health journey online, on social media, and with my clients, I would have thought you were out of your mind. But, here we are, and here I am writing about my personal world for you and whoever stumbles across this article to read.

So, How Did We Get Here?

Honestly, a few things contributed to this shift. Covid was definitely a big one. While I was seeing clients from the living room of my one-bedroom apartment while my husband had to wait until I was in-between therapy sessions to run from the bedroom (his office) to the only bathroom (down the hall), I realized that presenting myself as an expert who had her life together was a) not true and b) definitely not helping anyone. 

My life was messy, and kind of a shitshow, and also, how could it be anything else? It was a wild and chaotic time. I was doing the best to cope and that’s all anyone could do. Talking about that with my clients was so important. None of us were killing it (and a lot of people who seemed to be were in reality practicing a lot of avoidance which has caught up with them in these past few years). 

Being authentically me was quite possibly the most helpful thing I could do for my clients. It helped them to be less judgmental of themselves. After all, if your therapist is also treading water, then yah, it’s probably ok that you are too. By showing up as a real human, I was able to help my clients’ see that their expectations of themselves in the middle of a pandemic were more of a problem than what they were or were not doing.

I Decided To Be Really Honest With Myself About the Clients I Want to Work With

This has been a journey for me. I chose to become a therapist after working with an amazing therapist for 5ish years as a young adult. (Don’t be fooled, I’ve done way more personal therapy than that and still see a therapist to this day). That therapist completely changed the trajectory of my life and saved my life in so many ways. I wanted to pay it forward and be that person for other people.

As a therapist, I’ve always been passionate about doing what I can to help people who want my help. But, in order to be the best therapist I can be and prevent myself from burning out, I’ve had to really work on creating a therapy practice that works for not only my clients, but also me. 

I realized that the two types of clients I felt most passionate about working with and who I continuously did the best work with were clients who have challenging family relationships and clients with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Can you guess why? Yep, because I have very complicated and challenging family relationships, and I also have OCD.

I know what both those healing journeys look like. I have an incredible amount of empathy for people who are dealing with those struggles. And, I have done (and continue to do) a lot of work personally to heal from and manage these issues in my own life.

I Realized That I Could Go Down One of Two Roads

In addition to my personal experience, I am clinically trained to work with clients with challenging family dynamics and clients with OCD. I didn’t ever have to talk about myself or my personal journey if I didn’t want to. I could have focused solely on my clinical training, and I’m sure I could’ve still been an effective therapist.

But, I chose the other road. I decided to share some of my personal experiences in order to help destigmatize these struggles. I decided that sharing my own journey in order to help others feel less hopeless and less alone was a pretty good reason. 

Did you notice how I said “some,” not “all,” when talking about sharing my personal experiences both publicly and with my clients? That’s because, while I do talk a lot about my personal journey in therapy, online, and on social media, I do so in an extremely intentional way. It may seem like those who follow me or work with me know me well. And, they do know me well- at least parts of me. It would be completely clinically inappropriate for my clients to know me in the same way my husband, friends, family, and own therapist know me. And, that’s why they don’t.

So, yes, I’m a therapist who talks a lot about my own healing journey. It’s a decision I stand by, one that definitely doesn’t suit everyone, and one that I’m happy to see more and more therapists choosing for themselves.